Eccentricities of a genius

chakitabananaz @ 2009-08-04T00:19:00

2009-08-04T11:09:44Z

this
doesn’t even want to be love. except in minutes
when your face has the shape of my palm and I think
lungful.

I will be less needy.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-07-31T02:34:00

2009-07-31T09:36:15Z

CRUSH
by Ada Limón

Maybe my limbs are made
mostly for decoration,
like the way I feel about
persimmons. You can’t
really eat them. Or you
wouldn’t want to. If you grab
the soft skin with your fist
it somehow feels funny,
like you’ve been here
before and uncomfortable,
too, like you’d rather
squish it between your teeth
impatiently, before spitting
the soft parts back up
to linger on the tongue like
burnt sugar or guilt.
For starters, it was all
an accident, you cut
the right branch
and a sort of light
woke up underneath,
and the inedible fruit
grew dark and needy.
Think crucial hanging.
Think crayon orange.
There is one low, leaning
heart-shaped globe left
and dearest, can you
tell, I am trying
to love you less.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-07-24T00:27:00

2009-07-24T07:31:48Z

songs of desperation
i played them for you
a moment, a love
a dream aloud
a kiss, a cry
our rights, our wrongs

chakitabananaz @ 2009-07-20T19:10:00

2009-07-21T02:10:51Z

Hate

chakitabananaz @ 2009-07-16T03:53:00

2009-07-16T10:54:24Z

You're killin' me, Smalls.

I'm stuck inside the walls of all this sin and strife.

2009-07-08T20:53:20Z

I have no self-respect.
It's no wonder I hate myself.
Leaving will be good for me.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-06-13T03:53:00

2009-06-13T10:55:08Z

Self, please stop.
Your sanity depends on it.

This place was built for moving out.

2009-06-09T21:28:16Z

I'm feeling badly - it's not an attempt at decency.
And if you're well off, well then I'm happy some for you.
But I'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you.

We're all just breakable girls and boys.

2009-05-28T05:40:29Z

And you drove me to places I'll never forget.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-05-11T02:04:00

2009-05-11T09:06:26Z

We really need to fix us.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-05-10T01:38:00

2009-05-10T08:38:39Z

I'm so fucking ridiculous even when I'm only near drunk.
We can tell me to stop now.
Goodnight.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-05-09T05:46:00

2009-05-09T12:46:58Z

Oh my.

The small defeats a day demands.

2009-04-30T06:39:46Z

I swear I way more than half believe it when I say that somewhere love and justice shine.
Cynicism falls asleep.
Tyranny talks to itself.
Sappy slogans all come true.
We forget to feed our fear.

I'd like to fall asleep to the beat of you breathing

2009-04-27T05:56:05Z

Remember how
I'm sorry that
I miss the way
Could we

I feel like I'm wasting my life on the internet.

2009-04-09T01:27:59Z

Let's walk around the world.

But just being around you offers me another form of relief.

2009-04-08T06:36:00Z

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The perfect display of random acts of hopelessness.

2009-04-07T03:59:29Z

And sometimes when you're on
You're really fuckin on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you
But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fuckin cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
You'll be better
And you'll be smarter
And more grown up and a better daughter or son
And a real good friend
And you'll be awake
You'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest
You'll be brave
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

You say I choose sadness, that it never once has chosen me. Maybe you're right..

2009-04-06T09:28:32Z

"Tonight I Can Write"
By Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-04-03T18:34:00

2009-04-04T01:36:26Z

I've been sort of mixed up lately.

The young poets, with their reenactments of the senses, are asleep.

2009-03-30T09:15:11Z

I wish I understood poetry more. For now, I guess the way a poem makes you feel is understanding enough.

I stop and hold my breath and watch the way you used to be.

2009-03-23T11:57:17Z

And in that brief moment of honesty I still couldn't give you all of, everything crystallized and I know now how I feel.
Maybe love in insincere moments is just as real a love as any other.

Sing me and/or read me to sleep, please.

In love with love and lousy poetry.

2009-03-22T11:23:17Z

Whoa

The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

And I'm losing but I'll try
With the last ways left
To remember sing
My imperfect offering

My head is made up of memories, most of them useless delusions.

2009-03-18T07:43:29Z

I'm sick of the boundaries
I miss you so much.

chakitabananaz @ 2009-03-08T03:59:00

2009-03-08T11:01:26Z

I wish I hated myself less.
Woo

chakitabananaz @ 2009-03-02T01:17:00

2009-03-02T09:25:49Z

I wish I could quit this song:

Well I-I, I wanna be your lover
I wanna be your man
I want you to understand

And I-I, I wanna open your door
And love you 'til you're sore
That works for - wait a minute, wait a minute!
Yeah

I wanna be your thing, your anything your everything oh yeah

And I-I, I wanna fill your cup (cup cup cup)
Fill it up, fill it up to the brim with love
That works for - wait a minute, wait a minute!

You'll never have to ask
I'll give you my sweet grass
I'm gonna mesmerize your ass
Just give me my first chance, it's gonna be the last
I'm gonna make you wanna stay

I-I I wanna be your cow
Give you all the milk around town
Let me see, let me see you drink it down
I-I, I wanna be the pear tree
I want you to climb all over me
Try my fruit and taste my seed

Climb right on me, lay it on me
C-climb right on me, l-lay it on me!

Just let my do my thing
Until you start to sing
I'm going down all you night long
I'm gonna build a bond
I'm pullin' out my wand
Feels so right it can't be wrong!

Yeah!

Well I-I, I wanna be your lover
I wanna be your man
I want you to understand

And I-I, I wanna be you lover baby
I wanna be your girl
Blow a kiss and change the world, yeah

We're gonna make it through
You got me and I got you
Your bleedin' heart's at my command
If you don't love me to
Then bein' friends will do
Long as you let me in your bed!